Living with the Stupid and the Angry
by recluse dragon
Summary: Karkat and John are living together since Karkats hive got blown up. John volunteer to help the troll by letting him stay at his house. Now the troll has to deal with the human every day. Bunch of random one-shots that might effect other chapters.
1. Damn shipping

This fiction is just a bunch of one shots of John and Karkat, not as a couple though. You could go to another fan fiction for that. It will also involve other character but the main characters are the two i just mention.

(Notice this is my first fan fiction and it will most likely suck ,but enjoy any way)

Disclamer: Home stuck belongs to Andrew Husssie. I owe nothing

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A troll crashes on a couch completely exhausted. He sighs in relief to finally be alone with out anyone disturbing him.

"Finally, I could finally take a break from leading a team and from that stupid fuck-ass, Jo-"

Suddenly the unwanted human boy burst through the room with a bunch of energy and excitement scaring the red blood. Karkat fell off the couch and yelled at him using "colorful" language. John ignored the foul words ,since he was use to it,and started talking a mile minute.

"Karkat! Dave told me about this awesome thing. I forgot what he called it but he said it was amazing. And he sa-." The boy was interrupted by the trolls rude comments.

"Okay, Egbert. First off slow the fuck down. I could barely understand what the fuck you're saying. And secondly, knock first before you fucking burst in and scare the shit out of me."

"Oh, sorry about that. But anyway, Dave told me if I look up both of our names with an 'x' in the middle, something hilarious would pop up. He said it would be even funnier if you were there too." He paused and took a breath because he was still talking really fast but a tiny bit slower then when he first came into the room. John then calmly said,"Would you please come with me?"

The cancer troll finally got of the floor. He sat on the couch and prossece what the wind boy said. "So you want me to get up and walk with you to a damn computer to look up some shit the dave human told you about?" John nodded his head. "Why the fuck would I do that?"

"Well," John looked a little disappointed,"I thought since you're always in a crabby mood, I could show you something funny to cheer you up. Thats what friends are for."He started making a sad face with a big lip. Karkat hesitated and started to calm down. "Fine only this time I'll go with you. But after that, leave me the fuck alone."

The blue eye boy jump in enthusiasm and took the trolls arm. He raced down the hall to his bed room and tossed his (not so) friend on his bed. John jumped into the chair in front of his computer and turned it on. As the computer turned on,Karkat sat surprisingly quiet. He observed the human, realizing how stupid his hat looks. Then he looks at his facial expressions. He noticed that they were foreign to him. His friends and enemies were never really this, what do you call it, happy. Karkat finally takes in that John is staring at him strangely, and looks away. 'Damn humans and their emotions'.

"Hey ,Karkat? You okay? You were looking at me strangely and your face is turning red." 'DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT!' Karkat thought and tried to hide his face with his hands.

"I'm fine, damn it. Stop looking at me like that. Besides, your computer is on." John turns toward the computer not totally convince his friend is okay. He slowly regains his smile and energy and types in "john x karat".

Before he presses enter, he calls the troll ,now hitting his head, over to see the computer. The red face troll walks over avoiding the humans face. John finally clicks enter and click the image button.

Suddenly the smile is wiped off the humans face and the troll is now tomato red. The images they see weren't what they expected.

John finally says "W-what...is that...my... I don't even... what?" He couldn't even explain how he felt about the pictures on the screen. He knew for sure he didn't like it.

Karkat was processing what he was seeing and finally says "This is so VILE! WHY THE FUCK WOULD I FILL BUCKETS WITH YOU?! DID NEPETA DO THIS? WHO EVER THOUGHT OF THIS, I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL THEM!"

"I am going to kill Dave" John said looking away from the computer blushing.

They walk out of the room very piss and bright red to find Strider. After they left, three figures walk into the room laughing.

"Wow I didn't think he would be that stupid to actually look up that porn," the cool kid said to the others.

"Hee hee," a blind girl said evilly,"I love that red candy smell that came from their faces."

"lol,ikr." a cute cat troll purred.

"Thanks for helping me prank at John,girls,"Dave said cooly,giving them a thumbs up.

"Any time, but please keep your promise to role play with me and Terezi." Nepeta made her adorably cute cat face. Dave couldn't resist.

"fine"

"YAY! i have the purrfect dress for you, Dave."

"Oh god"

The girls pulled dave to get dressed wether he like it or not and he didn't.

* * *

Wow, i did this in a day. Hopefully future chapters are longer -.-". I failed at everyone personalities "OTL. Oh well, soon to be more chapters


	2. Not What it Seems

PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIKE MY STORY? WHAT?!

Anyway, I suddenly have artist block so you could suggest idea,characters, or just random things you would like to see in here. I would gladly try to fit them in. And don't forget to review.

:o)

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Chapter 2:Not What it Seems (I'm going to start doing this)

Foot steps are heard through the quiet street. They are heading toward a certain house of their owners moirail. The owner hasn't seen him in quite a while and is sort of mother fucking sad about it. He walks up to the house he thinks is the right one, its hard to tell since all the houses look the same. He would check his sylladex for the paper with directions on it, but its so mother fucking confusin (_yes i meant to spell it like that_) that he forgot about it. Scratching his chaotic hair, he knocks on the door.

"Hey, best friend... Best friend? Best friend~." Gamzee ,still knocking, was starting to think that he got the wrong house. he was about to turn away when he heard yelling and cursing that sounded just like Karkats coming from inside. Gamzee assume he was in trouble and started to think of ways to break into the house.

He put his hand on his chin and starts using his think pan.'Okay',he though,'If i could only get Equius to do his strong thing then he could burst down this mother fucking door. Or, I could get my bro Tav and he could ram his wheel chair into the door, or-' He goes on and on with idea until he sees a blond hair girl walking towards him.

She says politely,"Hello. Sorry to bother you, but your blocking my way to my friends door. Can you please move?'

Gamzee realize that it was the Rose human (Karkat tells him to calls her). He recognizes her from when some of the trolls first met two of the humans. He lets her pass and she pulls a key out of her pocket that John gave to her (with out him knowing). She was about to unlock the door when she has stop all of a sudden.

"O-oh my..." She starts to go a little pink.

"What is it, mother fucker?"

She gestures to come closer to her and then points to the door. The alien does so and he puts his ear against the door. He hears the human and his moirail talking. It sounds kind of muffle though.

"John, hurry the fuck up. I'm expecting a friend to come over," said Karkat.

John responds,"Okay," an unzipping sound is heard,"I think you'll like this."

"What the fuck is _that?"_

"You said you wanted to try-"

"I know what I said! It's just... it's so small..." An offended huff is heard. "But, fine I'll try it."

"Okay. Make sure to suck it."

"Yeah, what ever."

There was a few minutes of silence, then the troll starts to talk again.

"Wow, this doesn't taste like crap,but it's really hard."

At this time, Rose is now red and turns away from the door. Gamzee still doesn't get what's going on. He takes his head off the door and faces Rose with a puzzled look on his face. Rose tries to explain but fails because the troll ether gets distracted or stops listening or still doesn't get it. She finally just uses the simplest way of saying it:

"They're filling buckets."

This makes Gamzee stiffen. He though Karkat was against the whole "troll not dating a human" thing. Yet... he is doing that. The troll is still unsure that his best friend would do "that". He walks over to the door and listens again.

"Your turn," John says.

There was some shuffling, then john says,"... You sure I could put that in my mouth?"

"Yes I'm pretty fucking sure you could, Egbert." Karkat impatiently said.

John said uncertainly "Okay."

This made Gamzee turn and walk away from the door with a purple blush. Then shrugs. "I can't stop him from doing what he wants,"

"Yes, that is true,but John had this whole 'not a homosexual' thing,"she made bunny ears with her fingers when she said that,"I wonder why he changed his mind?"

"What's a 'homosexual?" He also made the bunny ears in confusion. Rose face palm. "Right, its normal in your species. A homosexual is someone attracted to their own gender."

'Doesn't that make her a homosexual?' Gamzee thought,'Gog I wish I had a faygo right now.' He starts rubbing his temple with a mix expression of annoyance and confusion. the troll forgot all about John and Karkat's _ahem_ 'getting to know each other time' and takes the key from Rose and unlocks the door. Rose screams"WAIT, NO!" but its took late. The door swings open. Rose covers her eyes, but Gamzee just stares at the two figures on the couch. Now he's even more confuse. They are fully dress, sitting next to each other... eating... candy. Rose,by this time, uncovers her eyes and walks over to see what is happening.

"Hey guys," John happily said, waving,"Just in time. Karkat wanted to try human candy so I gave him some jolly ranchers I found in my back pack. Then he gave me some sort of candy from his planet. It's so strange, yet it takes wonderful."

"Fuck ass. That's not even the best we have,"Karkat implies.

"Ha ha. I would like to try some, some day."

Now Rose was completely confuse. "Wait, but you said to 'suck it',"pointing to John,"and you said it was 'hard'."moving her finger to Karkat's direction,"And there was an unzipping sound. And I thought...I thought..."She didn't dare finish that sentence.

John got the idea."Oh, wow."he said turning red,"Now that I think about it, our conversation Did sound like we were... doing it."

"Doing _what_?"Karkat said, putting a third jolly rancher in his mouth.

"I-I rather not say."

"Where's the mother fucking faygo?" A voice is heard coming from the kitchen, more specifically the refrigerator. Karkat went over to help. John and Rose are left in an awkward position.

Breaking the silence, the boy said,"So... how come you never told me you had a dirty mind?"

"Shut up." the girl replies. Both start laughing. When the trolls came back with a few bottles of faygo, they all agreed to never speak of this night again.

* * *

Ha ha ha, I need a cleaner mind._. I was eating jolly ranchers when I came up with this idea, I didn't think it would turn into this. Oh well. Hope you enjoyed the crap of which is my story. Does this count as trolling KarkatxJohn fans?

See you next chapter if I didn't scare you off in this one.


	3. Authors Note

Hey, R.D. here

I just wanted to tell you guys that I'm going to rewrite "Living with the Stupid and the Angry" because there are so many mistakes,grammar issues ,and I hate the story line. I'm also going to rename it, so look out for that. Also look out for new stories.

Until then, bye.


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